The Heart verses The Brain

Conflict will arise in our Lifelovemarriagedivorce personal and professional journey. This conflict usually arises when we allow our brain to lead instead of our heart. The conflict of brain verse heart will always results in suffering. We believe that suffering is either “the enemy” or a result of sin-in which some cases may be true but when our suffering is a continuous event, especially when consistent prayer, spiritual and professional counsel has been implemented to resolve the conflict; it becomes apparent that there is a deeper and divine reason for the conflict.

It’s true that our brain is needed to make rational and intellectual decisions but if those decisions are to be authentic, we must remember that our heart never lies or deceives us. The heart is the most honest and accurate metric scale in existence. However, we try to control and manipulate the heart with our brain, ideas, images, perceptions, and intellect but God is far more advanced than we will ever be. He is the creator of the heart and if we are true believers, suppressing the heart God created will only result in conflict.

I remember the conflicting thoughts I had regarding my divorce. “God doesn’t like divorce, you must endure the struggle, there is no perfect marriage”…as I reflect on my heart & brain conflict, I realize that my brain was entangled with fear and concerns of the “almost perfect marriage” revelation that it wasn’t as good as it looked. My brain became overwhelmed with what ifs, fear, shame, and guilt. But my heart knew the truth; the truth that both of us deserved better. The truth that we swept things under the rug and avoided honest communication. The truth that we were kids when we met and followed the brain’s plan that marriage was the next step. I have no regrets because I have 4 amazing children and there was genuine love but there were matters that lacked authenticity and there was no way to avoid this truth by suppressing the heart. This is why suffering was implemented along the journey. I now realize suffering is God’s gift to free us from conflict and brain control.

God is in control of all things and if I believe this to be true, I know God’s plans are always meant to prosper and not to harm…even when my brain wants to convince me otherwise. This new way of thinking was difficult to digest in the beginning due to my fears. So, I searched for answers from therapists, pastors, mentors and although I am not catholic-God would direct me to a catholic priest for words of wisdom that would ultimately free me from the control of my brain. As I shared my story with the priest, all that had transpired, all that was done to try and salvage this broken marriage, and me telling the priest that God doesn’t like divorce, as if he didn’t know this already…his gentle response was…”God doesn’t like to see His children unhappy.” I never thought of this because-my happiness didn’t matter as I was on a mission to have two physical bodies present in a home for the sake of raising our kids. But when I look back at my sincere effort was that my new definition of marriage? Could my brain be deceiving me as I allowed fear to consume my heart? Did I really forget that happiness actually mattered? The heart that God judges, the heart that God created, the heart that is filled with the Holy Spirit, was I really in conflict with my brain? There were so many signs and so many times my heart instructed me to be authentic but I decided to follow my brain. Thanks be to God that He stepped in and allowed the suffering to begin in order to free me.

What I have learned along my Lifelovemarriagedivorce journey is that no matter how hard you try to avoid the matters of the heart, God will allow suffering to occur to free us from becoming a hostage to anything that is put before Him. The brain is easily influenced at moments time but our hearts aren’t persuaded so easily because it is our truth.

It’s true that God doesn’t like divorce but He doesn’t like is a heart that is not authentic. There is no way that we can serve God’s purpose for our life if we ignore the heart. We are functional professionals-we go to work and complete a task for a pay check. We are robotic in our response and smile through our brokenness. We can attend social gatherings dressed like no body’s business and play the role of happy but as unhappy as can be. We allow our brain to divorce the truth that exist within our heart and that doesn’t please God because He knows and judges the heart. God loves us unconditionally regardless what the brain tries to tell us and the moment you embrace your heart’s authenticity you will experience true happiness.

My brain was so worried about my kids..but what I learned is that when you have a heart for God-you don’t have to worry about your kids because He has them in the palm of His hands. I have been blessed to watch these beautiful souls flourish beyond my wildest imagination. I also remember my brain telling me that my ex and I would never be friendly. This was my brain leading and not my heart because I want the best for my ex and wanted us to be friendly no matter what the outcome. And thanks be to God that forgiveness lead the heart which allowed us to be not only kind but friendly.

Our brains can cause us to waste a lot of precious time-so it’s imperative that we chose to follow our heart. Allow your heart to lead because it’s where you will always find God. Remember this- God doesn’t like His children unhappy; so if you are in conflict it’s most likely because you decided to follow your brain instead of your heart.

Until the Next Blog,

Blessings & Love!