I believe that we outgrow some relationships. But I wouldn’t define this as a total outgrowth or attack on the person involved in the relationship compared to the enlightened awareness of acceptance and acknowledgement that the relationship created a conflict of interest that couldn’t find common ground. When we evolve in to our authentic self, we outgrow relationships that are prioritized in people pleasing, self sacrifice, and the suppression of one’s feelings, thoughts, heart, & voice. We outgrow protecting those who no longer provide the same protection in a non-judgmental or revengeful way because we simply understand that their authentic self didn’t align with our authentic self. This newfound awakening releases broken relationships from expectations that were never going to be met. Learning to eliminate intentional or unintentional agendas that inflict mental, verbal, spiritual, or emotional abuse towards the heart, mind, & spirit is knowing and welcoming what’s best for your over all well being.
Outgrowing a relationship doesn’t mean that you’ve given up, it simply means that you have come to terms with being the only one responsible for protecting your self-worth and heart; however you must articulate those feelings as they will free you from a semi-authentic self…(semi meaning half because you can’t be a whole person if you’re holding back any part of your authentic self in order to please others). Ask yourself this question… do you want a physical partner…physically showing up to be marked as present or do you want someone involved, engaged, and enjoying the journey with you? Will there be people in your life who take advantage of you, yes. But when you outgrow what no longer serves your best interest, you are no longer threaten by opinions; and the realization that you participated in your own conflict of interest by suppressing your authentic self may cause your partner to feel betrayed; but if you are honest the thoughts of wishing to be elsewhere and choosing to remain in unhealthy relationships will cause more harm than good in the long run. In addition to the participation of reoccurring arguments, disagreements, and attacks that ultimately result in the outgrowth of the relationship in its entirety.
Outgrowing relational inconsistencies and behaviors have nothing to do with outgrowing the love or memories you shared with someone, it means that you appreciate timed served and accept that expiration dates are sometimes necessary in relationships. But sometimes we beat ourselves up with guilt for choosing authenticity. We beat ourselves up by questioning our spirituality and faith because we’ve outgrown things that no longer serve the true self…But doesn’t scripture tell us the truth shall set us free? So what does one do? You must identify who you desire to be. You must trust God and understand where you are in your journey is no surprise to Him. Outgrowing things/people is apart of your spiritual and emotional path that’s meant to awaken you for a reason.
I have a better relationship with my ex than I had when we were married because I realized that I outgrew the 16 year old puppy love relationship, I out grew the 22 year old bride who didn’t fully identify, know, or articulate her needs, I out grew pretending that everything was okay and living an imaged, semi-authentic life wasn’t more important than living the authentic life, I desired. I am sure that neither one of us purposefully or intentionally desired to cause harm or hurt in our relationship. But outgrowing the young mind into the mature mind allowed us to accept one another’s authentic self because conflict in communication, actions, and deeds didn’t serve the relationship’s best interest but finding common ground in what worked like raising our kids in a friendly, positive environment was the best choice for everyone’s overall well being.
Learn to become non-judgmental when relationships don’t turn out as you hoped or planned. Trust your lifelovemarriagedivorce journey because what’s meant for you may not be accepted or understood by others, which is perfectly okay because your journey isn’t their journey. If fear, guilt, manipulation, or deception is needed to maintain a personal or professional relationship…it’s not a relationship. When a relationship is truly in sync the tactics mentioned don’t exist. Outgrow things/people that hinder your authenticity because if you don’t; you will not only hinder your growth but their ability to grow and experience relationships that assist them in reaching their highest good and potential.
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings & Love