It’s February; and Valentine’s Day will be upon us to shower our love ones with flowers, chocolates and gifts. However, love can be the furtherest thing from the mind of a person who has experienced a breakup, separation, or divorce. The thought of love in the air can be a turn off or the thought of meeting someone and becoming vulnerable all over again after heartbreak may cause one to simply say never again. I definitely get it…as I said I will never marry again or ever trust someone with my heart because I didn’t want to put myself in the position to be sad in a relationship again. However, I realized that the thought of never sharing my life or love with someone special isn’t what my true heart desires. I believe in love and God is love. As I think about the book of Genesis and how Adam & Eve became a union; it’s evident that God wanted us to share life with a partner. The passing of Kobe Bryant, his daughter and the other souls in the horrific helicopter crash was a blessed reminder to live and love as much as you can, for as long as you can with the right partner.
As a hopeless romantic, I believe that true soulmate love exists and one shouldn’t give up on love because you meet some frogs along the way. I have the privilege of speaking to many people as a life coach and one of the most common things I hear when a relationship ends is the marriage failed; in which I quickly rebuke. It is true that when people get married, they never intend for it to end but if you marry the wrong partner the romance will end. However, it doesn’t mean that you failed. Many times a separation or breakup awakens you to deal with the reality of your situation in order to become transparent and authentic; and if a breakup can somehow reveal the things you avoided, allowed or accepted then you didn’t fail at all…you simply learned and grew from the experience. Those who continue to suppress, lie and deny their authentic self are the ones, in my opinion actually fail. They lie to their partner and self; and end up doing more harm than good in the relationship.
As you move forward…you may realize that some desired relationships should have required more thought before entering…but if you learned from that journey then you succeeded. The only way you fail at anything is if you never try. Therefore, I have decided that my heart is open to love again. There is too much love within me to not share it with the right partner. As I mentioned the unexpected death of Kobe and the love that he appeared to have shared with his wife reminded me that real love is attainable with the right person. If you have learned from past relationships, those that were inconsistent, unhealthy, and unbalanced due to the MIA mate. If you learned to reject those who talk a good game but have no follow-through or you can spot the taker mentality mate-a mile a way…be thankful because you now know what to avoid. Experience is the greatest teacher; and if you do the work to heal your heart, learn to forgive, awaken & become your authentic self, and most importantly know what you deserve in a respectable, reciprocal love relationship…then don’t give up on love and don’t settle until you find it. That special person is out there waiting to meet you and me; so here’s to opening our hearts to love, again!
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings & Love!