Learning to reconcile and forgive yourself for trusting and believing those who introduce you to their representative, those who create false narratives of themselves is a must for your own self healing. It is unfortunate that some people will check all the boxes on your list, say and do everything right and appear to connect on every level but turn out to be a fraud. As a life coach, I hear countless stories about this “wonderful person” who appears to be in love, invested and interested but in time their true colors come out. This representative of a person will victimize themselves and their situation to gain your trust. They always blame others with no accountability of their actions. They are so convincing that you believe them to be this great person but you are engaging with the representative until the authentic version is revealed. The high of most con-artist is to reel you in emotionally, so that you will share intimate details of your life experiences causing you to let your guards down. When you share the reasons of why a relationship failed, the perpetrator will do what it takes to “one better” your last love interest and you will think they are the best thing since sliced bread but they aren’t better, actually they are worse because they intentionally take advantage of your heart. The perpetrator pretends to care but their only interest is what you can do for them and once they accomplish their task they move on to the next victim. So if a relationship is lopsided and you are always doing for them and there is no balance in the relationship, you most likely attracted a disingenuous con-artist of a person.

The con-artist of the heart is identifiable but you can only identify them when you listen to your intuition. Your intuition is your truth thermometer and it sends warnings that cause you to raise an eyebrow because something is off and what they are saying just doesn’t sound or feel right, but 9 times out of 10 you will ignore the warning. When you ignore the warning, the perpetrator succeeds. When you allow your mind and heart to convince you that your intuition is off or it doesn’t know what it’s talking about, the representative and authentic con-artist is jumping up and down! Several years ago there was a popular social media video of a kid speaking to his mother repeating…”Listen Linda!” Well remove Linda and insert your name because your intuition is accurate when it warns you about others. You can identify the fraud when they say they learned from mistakes, especially past indiscretions but certain behaviors and repeatable offenses never die because they never do the work to change or heal. Therefore, you must accept their authentic self because when people are truly remorseful of the pain they have caused others and self, they do better; period!

You will have to reconcile with self for trusting the one who betrays, manipulates, deceives and lies. However, you must not beat yourself up about being trustworthy and allowing your authentic heart to lead. Your heart is a gift and the fraud doesn’t discriminate, they are selfish and broken. They simply hurt people and live by their success of deception, financial, career or material assets. They may even donate or make charitable contributions that serve others and it’s possible it is for good reason but they truly do it for the applause of others but behind close doors they are as fraudulent as they come. Remember, they are not your cross to carry nor is it your place to judge. There is no need to hope they will one day “get it” or hope for reconciliation or to get a remorseful apology because you won’t. Establish your boundaries and understand that they aren’t worthy of your attention. You may have allowed your optimism and loyalty convince you to stay. However, realize that you aren’t the one who is supposed to help this person see the light. Don’t put that burden on yourself because once the truth is revealed and you listen to your intuition, move on and thank God the person is gone and reconcile with your own heart. Remember this… if a person is not aligned with God there is no way they can be aligned with you. Many people believe in God but they don’t follow Him; Read that again! Even when we fall short, we have opportunities to get on track and align ourselves with God; to be better than we use to be because our intuition knocks on the door reminding us that we’re off track. Our intuition also reminds us about others and those who truly desire to do better will and those who do not will continue perpetuating a fraud; doing the same stuff, telling the same lies and taking advantage of others. Be thankful that individual is no longer consuming your presence. Be grateful that the negative energy from the lies they told you will no longer keep you captive. You may wonder…Are there any good and honest people, those worthy of your heart and the answer is yes! So don’t allow the perpetrator cause you to believe any thing less than the truth or they will continue to consume you. Therefore, move on and allow your reconciliation to begin by understanding that God always works for the good of those who do good and the ones that don’t, He will not only remove them from your life for your protection, He will handle them accordingly and that’s reconciliation at its finest!

Until the Next Blog,

Blessings & Love!