February is the month, we recognize Black History, President’s Day, and the most recognizable day of the year, in which we shower love ones with cards, flowers, and chocolates on the day of “love” known as Valentine’s Day. Love is a beautiful thing with the right person and it can be a dreadful thing with the wrong person. So it is imperative that we learn how to love ourselves well. When we love others better than we love ourselves, it’s possible to be taken advantage of, mistreated, or disrespected. Apart of loving yourself is defining what love means to you and the moment you notice your love language isn’t being reciprocated, and effort & action is less than satisfactory, you must communicate the behavior is intolerable and unacceptable. When we ignore relational red flags of not being loved properly, settling for less than we deserve becomes a habital pattern.
There is nothing wrong with hoping a partner will improve behaviors that benefit the relationship but remaining in toxic, unhealthy relationships trying to convince someone to value or appreciate you isn’t love. Real love relationships aren’t negative, nor do they guilt trip you in to staying where love doesn’t exist and if you are constantly reminded of all they have sacrificed or done for you…that’s called manipulation and control. 1 Corinthians 13:4, 6-7, says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Unfortunately, many of us have been programmed to think that love is opposite of this verse but it’s really not. Some people will not understand or give this kind of love defined in 1 Corinthians, so you must make sure you love, trust and respect yourself accordingly because when you do, it’s hard to allow others into your life who don’t do the same.
How do you define love? Does your current relationship share the same desires, ideas, and definitions of love that you believe in? Do you love yourself well? If your answer is no, how can anyone else love you well? Can you live happily alone? If you don’t enjoy your own company, why should someone else? Are your relationships unbalanced in giving and receiving? Are you happy? If not..remember that happiness is an inside job and it’s not another person’s job to make you happy. As you honestly answer these questions, it will give you insight of how you may be loving yourself and how you have allowed others to love you. If you find that you are receiving the short end of the stick in love-hopefully a change will begin today. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves..So, it makes sense to love yourself well. Set an example of how well you value and love yourself and the love you’ve been looking for will find you; and love won’t only be celebrated on the 14th day of February, it will be a daily occurrence.
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings and Love