Dysfunctional Comfort

Sometimes we allow fear to create chaos in our thoughts which binds us to a life lived in dysfunctional comfort. The fear of the unknown and the opinions of others can restrict personal growth, happiness, and joy. A life of dysfunctional comfort ultimately results in unnecessary stress, fear, and pain. Dysfunctional comfort hinders the authentic self in reaching its highest good. When we courageously choose faith over fear-we awaken to a life that functions in comfort, joy, and peace of mind. The refusal to accept dysfunctional comfort leads us to the life that we have prayed for, desire and deserve to live.

Unfortunately, many of us allow fear to control our voice. We can admit to choosing a dysfunctional comfortable life. We pretend to have the “perfect” relationship or marriage as pasted smiles appear on our face at family gatherings. When asked how we’re doing-we proudly brag about our kids and share a list of accomplishments, material possessions, or  job promotions because dysfunctional comfort teaches us how to navigate the conversation from reality to what we want others to see. We even know how to look good in church on Sunday as faithful believers. We wear our Sunday best but little does anyone know a full blown argument and insults were shared on the car ride to church but as soon as the car door opens, we clutch our bibles praising God, telling others how blessed we are as we enter the sanctuary.  How can we memorize the scripture…”the truth shall set you free” but fear silences our truth and therefore we opt to live in dysfunctional comfort.

Dysfunctional comfort caused me to become a prisoner of guilt due to the blessed life I had been given. I felt that I was complaining about my marriage and had to press forward because of my beautiful family, home, and material blessings. I would pray for things to improve but honestly it didn’t. There were many good moments but my heart knew the real truth. As mentioned in prior blogs, I sought professional and spiritual counselors but a conversation with a priest would be my breakthrough. His words to me were…”God doesn’t want to see His children unhappy.” This was foreign to me because I was happily blessed but it was incomplete and inconsistent happiness. God blessed me with amazing kids and material possessions but that was for His glory. I will repeat this…God’s blessings are for His glory-that’s breakthrough talk for someone in need today. God never told me to be bound in guilt, fear, or be comfortable suppressing my authentic heart. God told me to trust and believe in Him not dysfunctional comfort.

Take inventory of your life and acknowledge anything that binds you in fear, be it professionally or personally. Ask yourself if you’ve accepted a life of dysfunctional comfort. Are you fearful of the opinions of others because if you are I can assure you that those really aren’t your people. Awaken people don’t judge or hinder your journey. They encourage you to be authentic, this doesn’t mean they agree with everything you do or say but they definitely support and encourage you to be true to yourself-as it’s the only way to live. Are you surrounded by fearful people? People who are co-dependent in a negative way. They tell you what you can’t do because they fear what you can do…you know the crab in the bucket mentality. Are you allowing these people cause you to live in dysfunctional comfort because they are selfishly comfortable?

Dysfunctional comfort makes you feel like you made the right life decisions but if you desire to be honest answer this question…”If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.”-Vi Keeland. Your heart opposes dysfunctional comfort; it tells you the truth but the mind tries to rationalize the irrational because of the fear within. When you think about your passion project or what motivates you…how many times have you talked yourself out of dreams because of fearful thoughts? How many times have you said..I can’t do it, I don’t have the time, it will be expensive…you literally talk yourself out of the faith that all things are possible and fear causes you to become dysfunctionally comfortable with a dead end job for the next 25 years or until they no longer require your services.

Life and relational journeys consist of good and not so good days. Partnered relationships should stand the test of time and overcoming struggles should be a priority but when you find that your worth is devalued, you’re being taken advantage of, manipulated or deceived; when you understand that you deserve more than you are being given or you remain for convenience, financial obligations, or fear the opinions of family and friends. Anytime you deny your authentic heart by continuing to live in dysfunctional comfort; you won’t grow in to who you are supposed to be and that’s not living your best life.

There will be dysfunctional moments in life but those moments are presented to make you wiser, stronger, and better off than where you were when you started. If you are living an unhappy and complacent life don’t settle for dysfunctional comfort. You are worthy and deserving of an awaken and authentic life; don’t allow fear or other’s opinions interfere with your ability to live a happily functional comfortable life!

Until The Next Blog,

Blessings & Love!