December, the last month of the year where there’s gift giving, children who believe that Santa’s reindeer really know how to fly, and religious celebrations. December also welcomes a year of review in which we take inventory of the good and not so good, highs and lows, pain and joy, struggles and blessings. We realize what worked well and what didn’t along our year long journey. We begin to make new commitments of how we’ll begin the new year but in order to reach this place of new beginnings, we must learn to detach ourselves from things and people who hindered our self care.
December has great significance to me because I love celebrating the birth of Christ. I enjoy the spirit of giving and watching the reaction of family opening perfectly wrapped packages as it simply gives my heart great joy. But December is a reminder of the cognitive commitment I make to detach from people and things that don’t share the same definition of positivity and peace. As I reflect over my lifelovemarriagedivorce journey it was the month of December in which I knew my martial union would be no more. I recall saying Lord, I can’t bring this old life into a new year. It was time to take care of me and that meant detaching myself from expectations of wanting things to work as I planned because that meant I was trying to be in control of my life; but life has taught me that only God is in control. Detaching from thoughts of what I thought should be and accepting the reality of what was-was the awakening I needed to receive the peace I desperately wanted. And if you dare to be honest about your reality, there may be required detachments needed to release you from unproductive habitual patterns. Detachment is a gift that welcomes self care and it shouldn’t be associated with guilt or selfishness, especially if you are trying to live a healthy and peacefully productive life.
When I made my December detachment decision it was because the relationship needed to detached from being a prisoner of inauthenticity, perception, and image. I have come to appreciate detachment because it allowed me to heal and restore. Detachment has proved that the friendliness my ex-and I now have is far better than the unfortunate suffering we endured in marriage. I realized that both parties need to live and love authentically; and I never wanted to be in a union that restricted a person from being who they desire to be. So I had to detach my mind from anxiety and over-thinking if my kids were going to be okay because they were already covered by God. I am not suggesting that you detach from your union if that isn’t what you want but what I am suggesting is that you learn to embrace detaching from people or things that restrict positive growth and peace of mind. You may need to take a leap of faith and leave the job that takes you for granted, consistently creating stress and poor health.
As December comes to an end make a commitment to yourself and take inventory of the things that bring you joy. Think about people who make you smile, those who make you frown, the job you disdain and the job of your dreams. Understand that you can’t take care of anyone without taking care of yourself first. Allow December to be the month you decide to detach from things that only have transactional relevance and no transformational significance in your life. Love, peace, and happiness should be reciprocal and if you happen to share space with transactional people…don’t try to save or punish them because it’s just who are-make a commitment to detach and invest in your self care as The New Year begins!
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings & Love!