This month marks a full year that I have been legally divorced. A lot has changed in a year; I am happier & living in peace. But one of the things that has not changed is the question…”are you dating yet?” My family and dear friends ask me this question often. I embrace the question because when people love you, they want the best for you and wanting someone they love to have a good partner is actually a great thing.
My oldest daughter and I were having girl chat and she said mom, “are you ready to date now?” I paused, as I had to think about my answer. I know that my kids & family love me and want me to share my life with a loving and wonderful partner, who doesn’t want a true love companion. I am a hopeless romantic, so I must admit to envisioning myself meet the love of my life and living a life of joy and happiness. But as I pondered her question and thought about my last relationship, was I truly ready to open my heart to someone after it had been broken? Could I trust another man with the heart that I worked so hard to heal?
This last year and even during my separation I was in fix it mode giving my all to my kids. My life is their life and I serve each of them with a badge of honor, so I didn’t think much about dating or having someone distract me from the work that needed to be done in their lives. My kids and I have a bond like no other, so when my daughter asked me are you ready to date…I thought about what I accomplished this last year and realized that I was dating; I was kind of “dating” myself. I have lived my life for others without complaint or regret because when you are a giver & nurturer, it’s just what you do. You don’t think about yourself and when you do, that is if you do there is some guilt associated to it. Well this last year, I learned how to stop feeling guilty. I replaced guilt with delight by doing things for me. The walks I take in the park, visiting with friends, enjoying a really good glass of red wine, and traveling has been such a blessing. I think it’s wise to just be still after a divorce. Rushing into a relationship can delay the healing process. So to answer the question my beloved daughter asked; yes, I believe I am open to the possibility of dating. I will trust God to handle that situation but “dating” myself will continue to be a top priority and I don’t feel guilty about it. Putting myself first is one of the gifts my divorce gave me and it feels good!
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings & Love!