I was talking to my best friend and she said…” I was watching a talk show and the host said that most people fall in love 3 times in a lifetime.” Of course, there are exceptions to every love relationship, as some people meet their true love on the first encounter and if that’s the case you are extremely blessed; so keep going strong. After our conversation ended, I wondered if this had any validity to it. In my opinion the talk show host may be on to something. Most of us have our first love experience in high school. We think that this will be the one for us as joyful feelings of holding hands and the first kiss makes us feel something we’ve never experienced before. We believe that this young, inexperienced, immature individual will be the perfect spouse; we will have 2-3 kids and live happily ever after. As you reflect on that once true belief regarding love, you can now see how this relationship wouldn’t be…”until death due us part.”
College is where most of us believe that we’re 100% equipped to make intellectual decisions regarding life and love. Even if our only real love experience was our high school sweetheart and even if we’re still co-dependent on our parents, we are all grown up. We are sure of the one who catches our eye at the college party or the one in our study group is now the apple of our eye-as physical attraction, infatuation and sex now leads us to our new forever partner. We have yet to master knowing our true self at 18 or 20 years old but we listen to our college roommates share how great their relationship is and we begin seeking a mate in order to contribute to the conversation. College is where we educate ourselves for future careers but many people plant subconscious seeds that college is where you’ll find your future husband or wife. And when you do fall in love-the perfect couple tag is placed upon your relationship status with questions of “when are y’all getting married” becoming the topic of discussion. Expectations and the opinions of others begin to play a part in your relationship. Societal pressures of living up to the image now causes you to remain silent when you really want to go to the fraternity party but don’t go because your mate doesn’t. On my LifeLoveMarriageDivorce Podcast interview at Goode Looks Barbershop many of the men said they got married due to feeling obligated. They loved their significant other but wasn’t ready to fully commit but went through with the nuptials any ways due to the expectations of family & friends. Their honesty would make them look like the bad guy and the thought of hurting their mate caused them to remain in the relationship. When this happens there is a greater likelihood the marriage will experience conflict, resentment, or end in divorce because a relationship of fear and lack of honest communication, no matter how much you think you’re in love is not going to work.
Once you mature from college experiences, start your career, refuse societal pressures and simply live a little, you will become the best version of yourself. When real love and genuine connectivity occurs, he/she will become apart of your soul and you”ll fall in love for all of the right reasons. Who knows, maybe the talk show host is right about falling in love 3 times in a lifetime. How many times have you ever truly been in love? If it’s only once that’s a blessing; if not and love is what you desire keep searching because when you meet the right one, you’ll definitely know.
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings & Love!