Unfortunately many of us have experienced a partner telling us…I am not in love with you anymore, I am in love with someone else, I want a divorce, I am not happy, or I’m leaving. The experience of your partner’s love, affection, and intimacy slowly disappeaing can be devastating. The light of admiration their eyes once had for you is now greeted with a look in the other direction or a stale hello. You may ask yourself…”Is it April Fool’s Day?” as you wonder if you’re somehow being punked. However, denial regarding your reality is not an April fool’s joke and no laughing matter. A partner who decides he/she no longer wants to be in a relationship is as real as it gets. The question is what’s next?
As you go into panic mode, I can fix this mode, anger mode, or shut down mode…ask yourself if any of those options make you look foolish. Trying to save a relationship isn’t foolish if your partner wants the same thing but begging, forcing, guilt trips, deceptive or manipulative tactics to convince someone to stay should be a no-no, especially when you know problems have always existed and the temporary fixes of “let’s kiss and make up” without ever fully resolving the past or present problems had no choice but to resurface. There is a saying…”doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting the same result is insanity” which can be quite foolish. Maybe you believe love makes you a little foolish…I don’t disagree but I don’t believe that being in a relationship should consist of toxicity, negativity, control, disrespect, lack of effort, or blame- there simply is no good reason to be a fool for that kind of love relationship. Many of us know when we have outgrown a relationship or when the relationship has been over for some time because April 1st is the same on April 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on. Therefore, ask yourself…”am I being foolish for wanting someone to be untruthful and inauthentic just to make me happy? Ask yourself…”is it foolish to expect another person to live a life of truth when they failed to communicate their complete truth because they didn’t want to look like the bad guy or girl?” There are times when people are totally blindsided in relationships but 9 times out of 10, we know the end of a relationship isn’t just an all of a sudden kind of thing. Many of us have played the fool by failing to articulate and communicate true feelings. We have also been foolish in turning a blind eye to poor behavior hoping things would magically change due to personal comfort and complacency. When we do this, we soon learn that April Fool’s Day becomes a habitual daily pattern of inauthenticity.
It’s true we can be a little foolish when it comes to love but no one should be made a fool of. Real love relationships are balanced, reciprocal, kind, authentic, emotionally safe, supportive and communicative. If you are not experiencing this with your partner, it’s not an April fool’s day trick. Don’t be foolish by over-staying your welcome with the one who isn’t your soulmate. Life is too short to be anyone’s fool. If you want to be a little foolish in love make sure it’s for all the right reason, most importantly with a partner who respects and loves you in the healthiest way possible. Allow April Fool’s Day to be a day of fun and jokes, but don’t be the joke in your relationship. The heart is no fool when it comes to authentic love and it will always tell you the truth if you’re willing to listen.
Until The Next Blog,
Blessings & Love!