While many of my friends are happily married, many of my friends are separated, divorcing, or divorced. Most of these separations aren’t due to the lack of commitment or love for God because the majority of them have been together for 20 plus years or more. It appears that the commandment of though shall not bear false testimony has come to the forefront and the revelation is that these couples decided that living a lie was no longer worth the status quo. I for one understand this revelation very well. It is unfortunate and fortunate when a person decides to divorce. Now, I know that it doesn’t sound Christ like coming from a Christian to say that it’s fortunate to separate or divorce but what I speak of is that when a person has done all they can do to make the relationship work but the other party just doesn’t share the same sentiment you must accept and let go. If there have been countless talks with church leaders, prayers/fasting, counseling, and anything else in between but the non- interested partner continues to show a lack of effort or interest, there is nothing more one can do. We know that actions speak louder than words and when non-verbal communication and ego driven behavior is the desired choice then one must accept the reality and move forward. I remember when I sought spiritual counsel, after sincere efforts were made I was advised to move forward but I didn’t want to accept that truth and remained in my relationship longer.  I wanted to see a sign that suited my line of thinking but I soon accepted this truth…”God is always in control and I needed to trust Him even when it didn’t make sense”. It’s challenging to accept this thought process but when I share testimonies and counsel others, I remind them that God is an untraditional God, He does things that doesn’t support our way of thinking as His thoughts are not our thoughts and what journey He has for one is a different journey He has for another. God knows and holds the plans of our life even in divorce and separations.


The good fortunate of accepting reality is no longer holding on to someone who has no intention of holding on to you; the pain begins to cease and healing begins. When the committed partner accepts the reality, a reality that was most likely known and overlooked for quite sometime- they will then begin a life of truth, freedom, & peace. It’s always a blessing when our trials of life develop us into improved well-rounded individuals and the good fortune is that your real love, your soulmate can now take his or her position in your life. However let me be clear, the end of any relationship is unfortunate but sometimes what appears as unfortunate is usually a fortunate blessing. If you are going through divorce or separation and feel like there is nothing fortunate about pain, my advice is to keep living…God reveals His plans in due time. As I reflect on my friends’ decision to separate, I think about my own decision and how I felt, yes it was difficult but it also turned out to be a fortunate and necessary blessing. My marriage had many good moments as I have stated in previous blogs. I have no regrets because of my 4 lovely children and the things God needed me to accomplish during that time of my life but I can’t help what to think I would tell my younger self before making the decision to marry…

“I would tell my younger self to listen to my intuition. I wouldn’t ignore warning signs when things weren’t right. I wouldn’t ignore the concerns of my heart by making myself feel guilty for “complaining” because of the blessings God had provided…for example when I knew things were failing-my response “well I have a roof over my head, good health, so many people are less fortunate…” I realized that I could praise God for my blessings and be honest about the realities of life! I would tell my younger self to live and learn about who I am and honor my passions before sacrificing myself to another human being. I have no regrets about marriage but at 23 I had so much to learn about myself and what I know to be true is that God knows all & He knew what my journey would be the day I entered the world, got married, divorced, the day I will remarry and meet the love of my life, & the day I will die. That is why what appears to be an unfortunate situation will turn out to be a fortunate blessing, as long as our trust is in God!


Until The Next Blog,

Blessings & Love!